Being busy

Being busy has become a badge of self-worth and importance. People are proud of being busy and put up with the related afflictions of being tired and harried. In conversations with friends, the question of “How have you all been?” generates the usual response “We’ve been busy” along with a description of the goings on that add up to being busy.

“How have you all been?” never generates the response “Nothing has been going on. We have become serene observers of the world and are pursuing a deep relationship with the forces that govern the universe.”

To be fair, people genuinely are busy and are factually describing their world. They are doing activities that they enjoy doing. They like to play tennis, go to plays, and visit foreign countries.

They are also not in full control of the activities of their lives. There is a need to go to the dry cleaners. The kids do have sports on the weekends. Vacations to cool places are important to families. The work world can be very demanding.

The problem is when being busy is the objective of your life and the measure of your worth and not the result of doing things that you really want (or have) to do. I am guilty of this. I do worry when I am not busy; implying that somehow, I am deficient or missing out if I have nothing to do.

This need to be busy is part of the culture of this country. A series of studies shows that we believe that a busy person possesses desirable characteristics, such as(competence and ambition, that are valued by employers and important people. In general, we think of time as something that should be productive, scheduled and efficiently used. Busyness is a status symbol implying that I am in demand.

Alexis de Tocqueville noted this American desire to be busy and wrote a book chapter entitled “Why the Americans are so Restless in the Midst of Their Prosperity.” The Protestant ethic has a foundational idea of work as duty that benefits society and is a sign of grace. The culture of busyness has been a characteristic of Americans for a while.

Culture aside, Americans are not necessarily busier that people in other countries. Americans average about 278 minutes of paid work/study per day, compared with Germany at about 244 minutes work, and Norway at about 275 minutes. People in Japan are very busy with about 368 minutes.

Does this mean that we should all commit to spending more time building sandcastles with the kids or kicking back in a hammock while reading a spy thriller? Maybe. But more important is realizing that your worth has nothing to do with how busy you are. It has everything to do with what you do and your relationships with those who matter to you.

While you think about this, I might establish the American Association of Busy People. Its motto could be “We’d love to meet. We just don’t have time.” The association could host an annual conference. However, people might not attend – they are too busy.