My wife’s mother passed away last week. She was 96 and frail and had lived a wonderful life. She is pictured with her husband Fred, my wife Denise and my daughter Theresa.
Her passing led me ask myself – if I was told that I had five minutes left in my life, what would I want to be able to say about my life?
I would want to be able to say five things.
That I was as madly in love with my wife then as I am today. I fell in love with Denise 51 years ago. And I am more in love today. She is my best friend, my lover, the mother of my kids, and my confidant. In ways that are unfathomable and indescribable, in many aspects of our lives and beings, she and I have become one.
That my three daughters have had lives as blessed as mine. Their paths will have been different, and their choices will have been their own. But I hope that they know deep love, good fortune, success, and many fine moments that have become treasured memories. I would hope that we were always good friends and looked forward to each other’s company. I hope they always know how much their father loves them.
That I had been spared the agony and horror that can dominate a person’s life. I hope I never have to experience great hunger, deep and enduring physical pain, crushing hatred, or excruciating torment. If I was spared this, I would be grateful. If I was not spared this, I hope that I exhibited courage.
That those people with whom I worked say that I inspired them, taught them, and led them well. Just as I have been inspired, taught, and led well by several people, I hope that I gave that gift to others. I would like to know that many people are different people, better people because they know me.
That the healthcare industry in which I work, and the organizations that I work for, have changed, become more effective, and have advanced because of the legacy that I have left. I would like to know that I showed these organizations and industries how to operate and think at a higher level; a level that significantly increases their ability to care for people, innovate and teach.
And if I can say all of this, I would die with a smile on my face. I would have achieved that which matters most in my life.